Now this word is bigger than most people give it, I would even go as far as saying that this is one of the most important words in our language simply because of how much it includes. With this single word, we group, love, family, friends, co-workers, enemies and strangers. And that is on the personal level, this word also reaches beyond our own sphere of control into the large world of economics, politics and pretty much any facet of human life or thinking. With so much being on this word how is it then that we take it so lightly, or it is so complicated to understand, considering how much we use it without really ever using the word, as we might think.
For the time being I am not going to reach outside of my own sphere of influence and look at just how important this word and concept is to my own life without going in specifics.
Strangers do have a relationship with us, as they are merely people whom we have not formed any sort of bond with or put a title beside, yet they do affect our lives and our relationship with them, simply based on how they act as an outside party, if they are kind, we may remember and try to develop a positive bond with them in the future, yet if they are cruel, we may label with another, yet even if they act as a third party, and we never really meet we may still put them into some group or create some sort of relationship with them based upon those actions before ever coming face to face with them. My example would be either the “set-up” where on a date your friend has told you story after story of this person and you has formed this image of what these stories entail and what the really mean or thus you create relationship with the person in these stories, and then try to relate them to the stranger. Thus you have two new relationships there, the one between you and this person, and also between the stories and this person. They should go to together if the person is constant all the time, but again we are human and sometimes what we see with other people is in flux based upon with present relationships we are dealing with. (For you girls/guys the example of different with friends then with me)
Enemies are in much the same light we hold this point of view over them simply based upon actions and we keep a relationship with them that is guarded, secret, and often at times ripe with mal intent. Yet however you want to look at it, this relationship or title was based upon a previous relationship in which deeds were done that caused some sort of pain to one party and it had then escalated from there. It is important to note that often times these relationships are not open, we may think we are, but our words as stated in a previous entry are not always as concise as we may think, and one person may not understand our comments, so this relationship can be really one sided. As the saying once goes, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
Family is in its own right a set of unique relationships. Now when one thinks of family we often think of the simple unit, that typical center of love and support that we can always rely on. Yet how many of us have that easy set of rules to follow with family, when we look at it like this, all we tend to see is brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and all those people in our larger family unit. Least we get into those relationships amongst older and younger relationships within each of these, each set comes with its own rule based upon ourselves and those relationships tend to be ripe with their own guide lines and not in the set manner that the traditional view of family may be. Of course we may turn to family and become that support bubble when needed, but on that day to day structure there are many other issues we face and these relationships are infantile more complex than we may at first like to believe, with a sibling, wonder how much you are completely open with them about your life, or how much you wish to include them, with your parents how much do they know about your day to day adventures, or so forth, how often do you contact extended family, each new family member creates a new relationship, it is one of the more complex relationships we can have simply because they are “family” and that puts a certain temperance on what kind of relationship we are supposed to have with them.
Friendship is one of the most basic, yet categorized groupings of relationships most of us have, simply because of how we associate people, if you doubt me, look at your MSN list and see just how you’ve grouped your friends, or the next time you introduce someone, look at how you associate them, you would be so surprised at how these associations put conditions and levels of intimacy on these relationships, if they are a friend from college then well most likely they know what kind of student and possibly drinker you are, if they are friends from work, they know of the stories and your own work ethic, if they are from sports they know what kind of person you are at this level as well, and the longer you are friends with someone the more them seem to branch out and know what kind of person you are in other areas and thus create a new relationship with you. Then you get into friends that are close or just “acquaintances” or whatever title you gave them, those with whom you are just a social tie too and they are never really let into your own world your own mind. Then look at each category of friends you have and see how many of these groupings can be divided by the close or social friend groups. You have so many sets of relationships with so many people that it seems impossible to keep all your rules set, but for some reason we are able to; though on occasion we forget a rule and then that relationship changes and we create or reset the rules. It is kind of funny when you think of how people remember being friends as little children and asking “Will you be my friend?” Who knew that question would have so many different meanings.
And now we have our most common use of the word which is the relationship we associate with love. Even this one is not as simple (and that is saying something) as we might think it is. In my mind there are three distinct groupings that this kind of relationship can fall into; past, present and future. Now the past grouping well that is not as simple as one thinks, because no matter what occurred in the relationships demise, at one point you were happy with the person otherwise a relationship of this nature would have never formed, and when it’s over, you tend to look back on it with a new light, but given time, you may miss aspects of that relationship, more likely when you are not in one, and you remember the good times, and what it felt like to be in that place where you felt good about it. That longing for that relationship says something, mostly I find that you are ready to try again, and maybe you miss the better parts and it’s time to let go of that pain or resentment or whatever negative feeling you harbour to that person. Those relationships that you are in now, are so complex in how you handle them it is impossible for me to even begin to get around some of those feelings, thoughts, worries and everything else that goes in, though, the best advice I can give myself and thus you; enjoy. Simply enjoy it for life is a series of comings and goings and really you can’t tell what will happen tomorrow so find happiness with that person today, and remember that this person was at one time a stranger, and then maybe a friend and now they are supposed to have this intimate knowledge of you, so do not be guarded but be honest with them and yourself because at the end of the day really that is all we have with them. And lastly the future relationships, these for me are the most terrifying to deal with, mostly because that are not known there is no real way to know if they will come to be, or what will come of them, but they also follow the same rule, when you try to become a couple or when you try to date, be honest, and be in the moment, trying to get to a point beyond the now is futile and will never lead you anywhere, so it’s in your own best interest to be in the now so that you can enjoy that time, but I understand it is hard, yet those relationships require the most to foster, so take your time. Be patient and perhaps that future will become the current.
In our lives we may have hundreds of thousands if not millions of relationships we develop, foster, grow, maintain and let go (if possible) and it’s important to take each one with due consideration and understand to which nature you find that relation to be. If things do not seem content, find out why and work to correct this, the outcome is on you to understand just where you put these people and perhaps where they put you. It is at that point can we understand and appreciate the value of these relationships for what they bring into your life.
The wind has a unique relation with all it comes to
