A Christmas Day Eve Present

So yesterday was Christmas for me, by far I guess you could say it was one of the most memorable, simply because I was away from my family for the first time, and surrounded by people whom didn't speak the same language as me nor do any fellow co-workers live within close distance. For the most part I was left to my own devices.

I rose later then I normally did, showered, then cooked a small breakfest for myself, as I ate it around my laptop, I opened each gift remembering who gave what and trying to either thank them in my mind or in the letters I'm in the process of writing. after that i tired calling my fmaily to no avail, but did manage to get online and talk to them and a couple friends as well. All in all a good morning.

I spent most my afternoon in a Bank setting up my account, its the language barrier again, i had my phrasebook with me and was writing as much as I could in Katakana or in very very simple english to help it along, stll all told it took me around an hour and a half to get 10,000￥ into my account. That's now down and I have a paper trail of me here. I went home, and checked the mail...my grandparents Christmas card had arrived...that was a really pleasent surpirse, it made me feel really good to get post. Well that wasn't a bill.

For dinner I did the KFC thing, they had run out of big Chicken but gave me chiken peices instead, it just wasn't the same、so i went into the Shop and bought a few other things for under 1,000￥ and made for a good ngiht of watching some of the DVD's I got for Xmas... It was then I got my last surpirse.

At 11:00pm I was sitting in my bed with a book half reading half watching the DVD when my back moved...at first i thought I was tired, but then...everything shook, not just a little but shook I watched things move slightly all over the place, it lasted only maybe 15-20 seconds but I had experinced my first Earthquake, a few minutes later there was an after shock, and yet another one this morning. Last night it had left me a little restless about the whole thing. Reminded me of how different things are here compared to Canada. I can tell you this cause I have never been rumbled like that, and the people after it was over went about as if nothing had happened as I stepped out to my balcony and watched a massive sign across the way sway back and forth as a result of everything.

Life is different, that for sure...rest assured Christmas is hardly a holiday we forget...I know my mistake of thinking it would be no big deal, this year will stand out in my mind for quite sometime.

Winds can move both Oceans and Mountains...be good and don't make them

Camera

I have a Camera and pictures are being taken....lets just say If teaching fails i can always be a Mall Santa back home.
Pictures will come when i get enough or get the Internet at home.

Music Can Save your Soul

Been listening to this alot, loving it

I don't know since when I changed to such a cold-hearted guy
I have to warm this frozen, icy, lonely heart to thaw
I like being wrapped with warmness more than anything else for sure
I'm gonna make my coming days to be filled with laughter and joy

I let myself down that I'm more cruel than I thought I would be
I'm just a loser who ends up by caring for my soul
I don't give my heart to no one cause I don't wanna waste my time
I tried to love this loneliness to slip out of this lonesome hole

Sorrow is what I hate but it's grown my sensations
Regrets taught me how to make any hard decisions
Peace is always by my side but I've never felt it once
Love is not the word only for the sweet romance

Well, I'm scared, scared, scared, scared to death
And I'm scared to keep on going on my way
Well, I'm scared, scared, scared, scared to death
And I'll tell myself I'm special till the end

Recalling my torn, broken, aching heart of these long days
And all the memories I wanted to forget for making leaps
Recalling, breaking, aching, crying, making sure to me
And I take all and grin at my future on the way

I don't give my heart to no one cause I don't wanna waste my time
I tried to love this loneliness to slip out of this lonesome hole

Japan

I have arrived safely in Japan. there is so much different, the language is far more different then i would have ever thought, which makes eating out very hard.
But I am adjusting.

Winds will always change, go with them

Never A Clean Cut Away

So, I'm now in my last days before I depart, and certain things seem to be going as well as can be expected others, well, it seems they are falling apart in no time.

Starting with what's going right, my family for the most part are closing ranks as i get ready to leave, I've been spending time with cousins talking to family members more so then I normally do, everyone giving me advice on things to do, things to take, and of course things they would like to see sent back or brought back upon my return.

Some of my old friendships have taken a whole new turn, I've gone back to some deep routes on these people and they have been amazing during this time, we've got together more times in the past couple months then in my times away at school. and of course my good friends at school have been good as well, making trips up, talking to me at all hours of the day or night.

And of course my brothers from Sigma Chi. Our conversations have not always been about me leaving or anything like that, just about anything at all. They made it seem like I was apart of everything even though I'm no longer there to be apart of that world. Yet they make me forget that I am not forgotten and am very much apart of their life still.

All of these people have been immensely appreciated during this time and have made these past months and weeks enjoyable and rewarding.

Now, of course i said things are all night right, in this past week alone has been a rough reminder of things gone wrong with my all but illustrious relationships, I've had a reminder i used to love someone but am no longer involved in their life, another seems to think that I'm not handling rejection so well, when our only conversations have been no more then 5 minutes or so of actual conversation each time her leaving the conversation either by no response or as of tonight by her telling me off and stuff along that lines, this only supporting my thoughts that she is trying to push me away after I let her know of my feelings. If that is her choice so be it. and of course there is the birthday's I'm always used to being very thoughtful, but with her, it seems to always result in more. I dig my own graves far too much.

It also isn't sinking in so well that I'm going to be gone over the holidays, without family or friends to hang out with, without the same well wishes, or sense of return to a greater sense of normality, holidays have always been such a source of that, and during this massive uprooting it won't be, it will be another log on the fire. this isn't making me feel very excited about going.

Lastly, the more i think about going the more questions that arise the more I'm not sure i know all i need to know to go. but this is how it is, and well as much as I think I'm lacking, well I'll jump none the less.

I'm not feeling that great after writing this, seeing all that i think I see that is going wrong with this transformation, we'll see where this leads me, but right now after this latest blow up at me, after I wanted someone to talk to who might understand what this is like, well I think I'm done with it.

May the storm winds bring new air

A Soundtrack To Life

So, I am nearing my departure, which of course means there is constant fussing over me, there are endless questions and worries that are now entering my mind thanks to my eager parents, and of course there is the sense of a great adventure lingering there. I am truly excited for this, I am slowly learning some Japanese so I'm not completely thick when I arrive. I had originally been assigned a city in more of the central region of Japan, and so of course I got used to the Idea of living there for a couple weeks, but then they had to change my placement to another city, however if one can hope for a blessing this was it. I will be on the East Coast of Japan, in a beautiful city, new by Japanese standards, but it has traditional is not overly crowded, and of course has a bloody ocean. it's weird how things can change so quickly, but as much as we may fight the idea that things are going to turn out worse sometimes well the end up for the better.


I could claim that I'm watching Anime to get used to what I will be seeing a lot more of for my day to day television. but well I Do enjoy it, mind you the stuff I watch is several years old. But BECK: Mongolian Chop Squad, has given new life to music for me, and I do enjoy the English Dubbed Version far better for the musical performances, the Idea of Music affecting life is grand. We listen and flip through songs so often, but it is so weird to think that those who never touch the dial, who never flip through the "fill" to find that single are often those who take the time to see everything, who know more, grasp more of the music, and know more then just the top bands of their niche following. I am thinking of writing a soundtrack to my life, think of your own, try not to use the same artist more then twice, and never from the same Album, at least 3 songs per year, after the age of 4, and any significant events can find them self with their own track, you might end up with around 100 tracks if you have a few years on you and have been witness or party to big events that affect you. after making this list, well sit down and listen to it, while studying, driving, messing about on the computer, whatever, go in order, and see how music effects your life, your memories are tied to words that you never expressed, but tie to your emotions, and if you find you don't think it fits, maybe its time you sat down without the Top40 and find yourself in the Soundtrack of life, what Everyone likes should not dicate what you do, find your own soundtrack.

may music fill the air of your breath

Taking the pill even if it's bitter.

Greetings,

So yeah again I find myself writing, it seems like a two day period, but really It's only been one day, rather long day but none the less. I'm writing because well I have simply gone and shown that is far easier to give advice and watch how it goes, then to take it yourself and see how it doesn't work out.

Me and one of my good mates have not had the best fortune when it comes to women in the past bit, we have both used each other as good sources of counsel when dealing with ex's, dates, or even the prospect of scoring dates. I have recently watched him do well, and while slightly envious, he does deserve it. The message is that we both are the same, not sure of the risk, so he along with one of my good (lady) friends have taken my advice of "Jumping".... and hoping to fly, taking the first step, and putting it out there. They have reached some kind of success with it. Yet, when it came to me, and a girl I had fancied for sometime, I was unwilling to, after my birthday, where several of my friends told me, that all the signs I had been reading were right, and she was interested as well. Well I was tempted too, but reluctant because of my situation, and well fear that everything i was saying to them, wasn't right and I would do more harm then good. However, after a bullying from my good mate, I took the shot, and Jumped. White Boy's don't Fly....I fell, and landed hard. Not that I'm a wreck or anything, quite the opposite, it's almost expected that nothing would come, yet the disappointment is there that I don't know how to read signs. More so I got the feeling that she has now trying to distance herself, and which will effect our friendship. So I jumped, failed, but I jumped.

It's kind of ironic, that the thing I was more afraid of when thinking of this whole scenario was the what if's. But really after having done it, there are only two real options...Life with the Jump, or Life without. Yeah my advice didn't work and I'm still a single and pathetic traveler, maybe even lost a friend out of it, if she steps back it seems. However, what good is it for me to tell others, if I have not done so myself? I have tried and failed, but seen it work, it may never work for me, but I have to try. We don't have the option of doing what only works, and discarding what doesn't...so I'm taking this pill...it's really bitter, but I feel better having done it.

May the winds find you home

So it Begins

Greetings,

So I have no started this Blog, with no real thought into what will go into it, because if you know me, I am a scatter brain when it comes to the written or spoken word, I rant, and go on far tangents all the time. So as for what can be expected in here I'm not quite sure. Yet, I will do what I can to update as often as possible and give you an insight into what I'm thinking, feeling and experiencing in my travels or while I await the next great adventure.

So I just turned 23 right, no biggie, birthday's are becoming more like reasons to get together and recall stories from years gone by and remember what it was like to be that age again. No, don't think I'm wishing I was younger or any of that bollocks but rather, it's weird that the Idea of getting pissed up, which I did do quite nicely this year and cakes and all that just don't have that same allure to, maybe because I'm more mature or something like that, but I really think it has to do with the realization that life goes on, those whom I used to see everyday i may not have seen for weeks or even months at a time, and while its a nice a pretty thought to imagine everyone will be around when I get back from my travels, well it's a foolish notion. Other people need to run wild as well. So I'm more now nervous about the changes that I'll find when I get back...it's not that I won't be without communication for the course of my travels but you are never really aware of what has changed until you can see it with your own eyes...and it may just be, that places such as Orillia and Waterloo, where I could always find a good friend, no longer hold that same appeal, because those whom I associate the cities with have moved on, and thus my network of friends while immense, are scattered.

So as i asses what my new directions are for this my 24th year on earth (I was born before I turned one after all) i cannot help to see that things never remain, but we can always look back and get lost in places we once were, and that as long as those places still are found in us, well surely everyone can find their way back...next round is on me.

May fair winds guide you