Taking the pill even if it's bitter.

Greetings,

So yeah again I find myself writing, it seems like a two day period, but really It's only been one day, rather long day but none the less. I'm writing because well I have simply gone and shown that is far easier to give advice and watch how it goes, then to take it yourself and see how it doesn't work out.

Me and one of my good mates have not had the best fortune when it comes to women in the past bit, we have both used each other as good sources of counsel when dealing with ex's, dates, or even the prospect of scoring dates. I have recently watched him do well, and while slightly envious, he does deserve it. The message is that we both are the same, not sure of the risk, so he along with one of my good (lady) friends have taken my advice of "Jumping".... and hoping to fly, taking the first step, and putting it out there. They have reached some kind of success with it. Yet, when it came to me, and a girl I had fancied for sometime, I was unwilling to, after my birthday, where several of my friends told me, that all the signs I had been reading were right, and she was interested as well. Well I was tempted too, but reluctant because of my situation, and well fear that everything i was saying to them, wasn't right and I would do more harm then good. However, after a bullying from my good mate, I took the shot, and Jumped. White Boy's don't Fly....I fell, and landed hard. Not that I'm a wreck or anything, quite the opposite, it's almost expected that nothing would come, yet the disappointment is there that I don't know how to read signs. More so I got the feeling that she has now trying to distance herself, and which will effect our friendship. So I jumped, failed, but I jumped.

It's kind of ironic, that the thing I was more afraid of when thinking of this whole scenario was the what if's. But really after having done it, there are only two real options...Life with the Jump, or Life without. Yeah my advice didn't work and I'm still a single and pathetic traveler, maybe even lost a friend out of it, if she steps back it seems. However, what good is it for me to tell others, if I have not done so myself? I have tried and failed, but seen it work, it may never work for me, but I have to try. We don't have the option of doing what only works, and discarding what doesn't...so I'm taking this pill...it's really bitter, but I feel better having done it.

May the winds find you home